Officially Sanctioned PTA Journal

Insert witty title here <--

2007-06-07T01:06:53Z

PTA's DA Gallery

Oy, it's been a rough Memorial Day weekend.
It started with my cat's cornea melting..
yeah, her eye was MELTING! She's had an infection that I've been medicating for a little while, but the evil in her eye won out over the drops. So first thing Friday morning I raced her to the 24 hour vet hospital and they prepped her for an emergency enucleation (doctor talk for 'get dat damn eye out!'). Waiting to hear how the operation went was a pretty stressfull day. When I heard that she was out of surgery and ok and could come home at 5am, I flew down the highway to get her.
She looked like hell and was eager to get the hell out of there, and out of the cone collar that she has to wear. So eager that she got it off twice on the way home. Ever drive 60 down the highway and try to keep a cat from opening up an eye socket and dodge traffic at 5 in the morning? Oh it's fun! UGHH!

So now I have a one eyed cat, and yes, I've about heard every pirate-cat joke you can think of.
Yes she has a tiny parrot for her shoulder.
Yes she has a hankerchief for her head and an eyepatch.
Yes she has rum in her water bowl.

So now she's home, I'm physically and finacially drained. Time for more coffee. Nah, not that regular stuff.
Time to haul out the espresso ammo.

Sweet sweet espresso coffee!

*UPDATE*
Tomorrow the collar comes off and the stiches come out. Hopefully this will be the end of her optical drama and the rest of her life will be filled with 1/2 & 1/2 and treats.

In other news,

All of which are located right here!

I'm also available for commissions.
Net Commission Price List:
$10.00---Single character B&W sketch, roughly cleaned up in pencil.
(+$2.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$2.00 per re-draw)

$20.00---Single character B&W drawing, cleaned up and inked.
(+$3.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$3.00 per re-draw)

$30.00---Single character drawing, cleaned up, inked, and Digitally Colored.
(+$5.00 per additional character in each drawing)

Single character drawing, cleaned up, inked with a simple backgound.
$35.00---Black and white
$40.00---Color
(+$5.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$3.00 per re-draw)

Elmer, the other white meat.

2007-03-18T01:38:15Z

I just watched HBO's 'The Sissy Duckling'.

If it were possible to wish incendiary cancer of the eyes on someone, the writer of this animated abortion would be the focus of it.
A politically correct 'fairy tale', complete with musical numbers, starring Harvey Fierstein (who also wrote it) about a self absorbed sissy duck (Elmer) that argues the meaning of the word 'different' with the narrator every five minutes.
There were so many problems with this visual cavalcade of tripe that I'm not even sure where to begin.

The story takes place in a quazi-Ewok like villiage of ducks complete with homes, sports teams and a public school system. They have enough technical knowlege to manufacture clothes, homes and candles. About the society level of an 18th century American town.
Elmer is born to an overbearing battleaxe of a mother and a grumpy father, played by Ed Asner. Elmer isn't into sports but into making and putting on puppet shows.
Of course, no one in the story asks why Elmer's voice sounds like his windpipe was crushed by a vicegrip.
The father tries to get Elmer into baseball and outside so he can make some friends and not be a hermit for the rest of his life. Elmer just sasses his Dad back and acts like a little bitch thoughout the whole game. When the ball heads for him in the outfield, he just watches it go by and doesn't try to catch it. Seldom do I shout at the tv but I had to blurt out a 'GO FOR THE BALL YA BUM!'
At this point the sissy duck belches out a rant against baseball and storms off. Now I'm not a jock or even a huge lover of baseball, but when I did play as a kid, I tried to catch the ball and participate despite not enjoying the game. If you're in it, you're in it. Give it your all. Elmer couldn't be Bothered. He just cracks insults at his dad, who should have slapped the bill off of the little winged rat until it spun around like a certain WB character.

In the course of the story, the flock has to fly south for the winter in order to survive. WHY?! They've already mastered fire! They have fires in their homes to cook their little duck dinners. They have lit lanterns and candles all over to light their houses. It made no sense. They could have stayed home and avoided what was to come next. Maybe Miami is duck Mecca or something.
Anyway, at this point Elmer has been beaten up by a jock duck with a marine feathercut and his cronies (one of which has brain damage). Elmer, rejected by the other kids and his father emos out and decides to run away and live by himself. Wahhhngst.
Elmer's parents join the rest of the ducks and start to fly south. No more that three seconds after they take off, the ducks come under heavy fire from hunters shotguns.
First thing that came to mind at this point was A.) wouldn't the ducks be ready for this, since it seems to be an annual occurrence for them? And B.) how did the hunters not notice the little hats and clothes that the ducks were wearing.
"Hey Bob, check this out! This one's got a little cap on!"
"Holy shinkies, Ted! This one has make up on and a bow on it's head!"
"Sweet Jesus in a box! There's a whole village over here in the reeds! This is the pond of the damned! RUN!!!"

The hunters shoot down a few ducks, including Elmer's dad. Elmer drags his dad back to their house and he nurses him back to health. Somehow a duck with a penchant for puppetry has the medical knowhow to remove buckshot from a charred wound.

*voice from peanut gallery: 'It's a cartoon ya dink!'*
Quiet you!

They hold up for the cold winter in their home, again because they have FIRE, and Elmer keeps his Dad's spirits up with, what else, puppetry. Over the winter they bond.
When the flock returns in the spring, led by the jock duck that has become the leader of the flock. They mourn the fallen ducks that were shot down, and mock sissy Elmer. Until Elmer's dad shows up to everyone's surprise and explains how he was saved by his namby-pamby son. The jock has a change in heart and the flock accepts Elmer as one of their own. Elmer, of course, acts haughty and as self absorbed as he ever did and declares that he hasn't changed and that he's proud to be a sissy. Um, sissy power? Wha?
The last shot we get is Elmer screatching that everyone isn't different, buy uuuunnnniiiiqqquuuueeee!!!
Um...yeah. Die.

All in all, it was a very stereotypically bleached out, politically correct piece of flotsam that would have insulted my intelligence even if I was still 6 years old. The ugly duckling was more skillfully executed and had a better message than Elmer whining about the definition of 'different'.

Just had to write this out. This toon was that bad. And can animators use another duck bill model other than Daffy Duck's? I'm guilty of this crime to but, ever duck in this cartoon looked like the heads didn't fit on their bodies.
The animation quality was very good though. Lipsynch was off a tad here and there, probably due to shipping the inbetweens out to South Korea to get it done under budget. If it was sent to S.Korea. I have no idea if it was.

Ok. Rant over. I'll propably make some anti-fan-art of this cartoon splort once work eases up a bit.

Coffee and Art

2007-02-13T01:45:26Z

PTA's DA Page
Wingedsonar has a number of cool picts up for auction.
Check these out before the only place you can see them is in a published book!
http://www.furbid.ws/cgi-bin/auction/aboutview.pl?user=WingedSonar

Lately I've been sketching a bunch of junk and not-ready-for-primetime doodleage for a bunch of people online.
The massive amounts of coffee help me accomplish that. Oddly enough, most of the java I drink is decaf. If I need a hit of brain jetfuel, I dash in some instant espresso powder. Adds flavor and heart attacks.
On a side note, use that powder in rice crispy squares and discover the joys of seeing time!

Current list of commissioned work being done for DA deviants:
:iconreaver2000: <---99% done.
:iconballoonie-cat: <---90% done. (Also working of contest ideas)

I'm available for commissions.
Net Commission Price List:
$10.00---Single character B&W sketch, roughly cleaned up in pencil.
(+$2.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$2.00 per re-draw)

$20.00---Single character B&W drawing, cleaned up and inked.
(+$3.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$3.00 per re-draw)

$30.00---Single character drawing, cleaned up, inked, and Digitally Colored.
(+$5.00 per additional character in each drawing)

Single character drawing, cleaned up, inked with a simple backgound.
$35.00---Black and white
$40.00---Color
(+$5.00 per additional character in each drawing)
(+$3.00 per re-draw)

Oh, and GreyofPTA's spectral analysis.

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23^®

Yup, I'm that boring.

New Years Eve Stuff

2006-12-29T05:46:55Z

This New Years Eve will be time for a small tradition I cooked up in the early 90's.
On New Years Eve I create a new character. This year it may be a villian for the Super Losers. Goodness knows they need one..other than themselves of course.

And remember kids...
Egg-Nog + whiskey = Traditional egg-nog
Egg-Nog + rum = Colonial egg-nog
Egg-Nog + brandy = English egg-nog
Egg-Nog + coffee = an abomination in a mug and a crime against humanity.

*edits goofy error*
Heh heh, yeah, this wasn't copied from another journal. Nah. Heh heh.

The 'Rummage Around For the Saw' Edition of PTALJ.

2006-09-29T07:46:08Z

PTA's Journal

It's that time of year, and that means two things...
One.) My homepage changes into its Halloween Mode.
Two.) I'm..

Each year I carve 12-20 pumpkins for friends, family and myself. I also make custom patterns for others to.
Portraits from photographs, team logos, cartoon characters, celtic designs, animals, you name it!
Click here for more info on this holiday offer!
Sometimes I appear at local farms and do custome carvings for patrons and give advice on how to carve a really neato Jack O'Lantern.

I have a lot to chop up and lots of ideas. Let the season begin!!
(Word to the wise, get yourself a real jigsaw blade to carve with. I used to break three or four of those .99 cent pumpkin-carving kiddie saws a year until I got a real one.)

UPDATE:
I have a number of auctions up for grabs at Furbid.
Take a gander!
Happy Bidding!

I smoke....

2006-08-11T01:33:03Z

...hickory that is.

For the past month I've tinkered with the world of smoked BBQ and I love it!
For those out there who haven't, try hickory smoked buffalo burgers. You'll be glad you did.
Also..
I made..

Thank you.
GREEK LEMON-RICE SOUP
3 c. chicken broth
2 to 3 oz. uncooked regular rice
2 eggs
3 tbsp. lemon juice
Dash of salt
Dash of white pepper
In 2-quart saucepan, bring broth to a boil. Reduce heat, add rice, cover and simmer until rice is tender, about 20 minutes. In small bowl, beat eggs and lemon juice. Stirring constantly, add 1 cup of hot soup, a little at a time. Stir mixture into soup in pan and heat. Do not boil! Season with salt and pepper. Serve immediately. Serves 4.
NOTE: 2 oz. rice makes thinner soup; 3 oz. rice makes thick soup. Weight instead of measurement gives the option of using medium grain rice.

Feel free to drop me an e-mail with your commissions and I'll see what I can do for you.

$10.00---Single character B&W drawing, roughly cleaned up in pencil. (+$2.00 per additional character in each drawing)

$20.00---Single character B&W drawing, cleaned up and inked. (+$3.00 per additional character in each drawing)

$30.00---Single character COLOR drawing, cleaned up, inked, and digitally colored. (+$5.00 per additional character in each drawing)

Single character drawing, cleaned up, inked, and digitally colored with a simple backgound.
$35.00---Black and white
$40.00---Color

Thunder and Blighting

2006-07-15T10:33:46Z

From 7-7-06
O.k., the long and short of this post is,
my home has just been flooded,
my equipment is offline or damaged,
I'm unable to draw or color anything for a few weeks,
couple that with intense cranial pain from sinus evil,
and you have a rather lousy, sleepless time in GreyofPTA land...litterally.
We'll be getting more rain here and I'll have to be up during all of it...for the next few days.

I'll post again when I'm able.
--------------------------------------------
Update 7-9-06

The water is gone, the musty stank is gone. I'm installing a new floor that looks better than the ugly old carpet I used to have. It's fake bamboo tile and it looks pretty snazzy.
I still have a section of the floor that has to be pulled up. Would you believe there were three different floors under the rugs? Each installed in separate decades, and each looked it.
Would you believe I only had about 5 hours sleep this week?

Off to rip out some more floor. Weeeeeeee.

--------------------------------------------

Update 7-13-06

I'm slowly getting stuff back together.
Consolidation the word of the month.
Boxes and boxes of old drawings are all over the place.
Soon they will all be scanned at 300dpi and then tossed.
My goal is to have all of them reduced to just one box.
To some this may sound awful, tossing out your own drawings, but it's the smart thing to do. If the damage to the walls is too extensive, I want to be able to move easily and quickly.
Now, where to put the couch?

Also, I had some time to kick back (FINALLY) and I whipped up a new DA avatar. Wheeeeee, thaumatrope goodness!

Thank you to the people who have wished me well and the best of luck. Thank you all.

Sorry for the cheap clipart. I'm exahusted and can't doodle up anything witty.

Holly crap! He's updating this thing!

2006-06-07T08:02:19Z

I've been running around with comissions, jobs, web building, cooking, and prop construction lately. That goodness for Starbucks coffee!
Yes, I like their java. They may be a big corporation, but they're one of the good ones. When I go into one of their joints I'm guaranteed a fresh cup of liquid brain fuel that doesn't tatse like decaying grounds cooked over a heating plate on an old percolator.

At the moment I'm wading thorugh a sea of cartoons for people and customers.
I'll be adding a new Inflatabelle comic to the gallery soon. Don't expect anything epic. Just a quickie.
More scraps will appear. Check out what i have there now for some amusement.
A support stamp or two may appear also.
I still want to do my gift art snipe attacks for other DA artists, if time allows. If I like your character, comic, or general gag you've drawn, I may fire out a rendition of your creation. I'll send you a note before I post it to see if you approve first.
But now...

BACK TO WORK!!!!!

You have to try these!

2006-04-03T23:48:26Z

GENTLEMEN!

BEHOLD!

*cough*
Two things you all must try.
ONE:
Espresso Rice Cripsy Squares
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for greasing pan and hands
1 (10-ounce) package mini marshmallows
2 to 3 tablespoons instant coffee or espresso
6 cups rice cereal (recommended: Rice Krispies)

Lightly butter an 8-inch square pan.
In a large pot, melt the butter over very low heat. Stir in the marshmallows, getting them all coated with the butter. Slowly melt the marshmallows, stirring frequently. When the marshmallows are melted and smooth, remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the instant coffee (2 tablespoons for a rich coffee flavor, 3 tablespoons for a real kick) and mix until it is dissolved into the melted marshmallow. Gently fold in the rice cereal. When it is completely coated, lightly press the mixture into the prepared pan with your buttered hands. When cool, cut the treats into bars and serve.

TWO:
:iconcalioshe:'s fine talent that she's offering on Furbid!
CLICK HERE AND SEE!

Fun stuff and cartoons by me are at my site (duh) and at my DA Page
STAY TOONED!
(it's funny 'cause I used tooned instead of tuned..'cause I draw cartoons and, uh..*cough*...um)

'Grandpa' Al Lewis

2006-02-05T19:15:26Z

1923-2006
He will be missed.

Fire Roasted Goodness!

2006-02-03T19:52:36Z

As filler for now, here's some recipes that I've made for others and myself that earned some great results.

COCO SPICE RUBBED TENDEROIN
1 tablespoon whole white peppercorns
1 tablespoon whole coriander
4 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cloves
3 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
4 tablespoons sea salt, preferably gray
2 (2-pound) boneless pork tenderloins
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, toast white peppercorns and coriander seeds until they begin to pop. Remove from heat and grind to fine powder in a spice mill or coffee grinder. Mix the ground pepper and coriander with remaining spices, cocoa and salt.

Trim the pork tenderloins of fat and silver skin. Rub with a generous amount of the cocoa spice rub. Heat the olive oil in a large saute pan over medium high heat until hot but not smoking. Sear each tenderloin on all sides until a rich brown color, about 2 minutes on each side. Remove tenderloins from heat and finish in the oven for about 10 minutes or until cooked through.

Let the tenderloins rest out of the oven for at least 10 minutes before carving.

Extra cocoa spice rub will keep in an airtight container for up to 3 months.

GOOEY PUMPKIN BUTTER CAKE

Cake:
1 (18 1/4-ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 egg
8 tablespoons butter, melted
Filling:
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (15-ounce) can pumpkin
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
8 tablespoons butter, melted
1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well with an electric mixer. Pat the mixture into the bottom of a lightly greased 13 by 9-inch baking pan.

To make the filling: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and pumpkin until smooth. Add the eggs, vanilla, and butter, and beat together. Next, add the powdered sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and mix well. Spread pumpkin mixture over cake batter and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Make sure not to overbake as the center should be a little gooey.

Serve with fresh whipped cream.

SEARED TUNA STEAK

1/2 cup dark soy sauce
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup dry wasabi powder
2 pounds tuna loin, cut into 2 pieces
1/2 cup sesame seeds
2 tablespoons peanut oil
In a non-reactive bowl combine soy, honey, and wasabi powder. Reserve 1/4 cup for dipping sauce. Roll each piece of tuna in this mixture to coat evenly. Marinate from 1 hour to overnight. Remove the tuna from the marinade and discard the marinade.
On a plate, lay the sesame seeds. Roll the tuna in the seeds to evenly coat.
Fire up the chimney and top with a well-oiled grate. Sear for 15 to 30 seconds per side or to desired temperature. Remove to rack and rest for 3 minutes. Cover with foil or plastic wrap to achieve carry over cooking. Slice thinly and serve with the dipping sauce.

FRIED CHICKEN

1 broiler/fryer chicken, cut into 8 pieces
2 cups low fat buttermilk
2 tablespoons kosher salt
2 tablespoons Hungarian paprika
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Flour, for dredging
Vegetable shortening, for frying
Place chicken pieces into a plastic container and cover with buttermilk. Cover and refrigerate for 12 to 24 hours.
Melt enough shortening (over low heat) to come just 1/8-inch up the side of a 12-inch cast iron skillet or heavy fry pan. Once shortening liquefies raise heat to 325 degrees F. Do not allow oil to go over 325 degrees F.

Drain chicken in a colander. Combine salt, paprika, garlic powder, and cayenne pepper. Liberally season chicken with this mixture. Dredge chicken in flour and shake off excess.

Place chicken skin side down into the pan. Put thighs in the center, and breast and legs around the edge of the pan. The oil should come half way up the pan. Cook chicken until golden brown on each side, approximately 10 to 12 minutes per side. More importantly, the internal temperature should be right around 180 degrees. (Be careful to monitor shortening temperature every few minutes.)

Drain chicken on a rack over a sheet pan. Don't drain by setting chicken directly on paper towels or brown paper bags. If you need to hold the chicken before serving, cover loosely with foil but avoid holding in a warm oven, especially if it's a gas oven.

OLD WORLD VIENNA COFFEE

1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cloves
2 TBS fresh ground coffee
200ml water

Put spices and grounds together and brew coffee by your favorite method. Enjoy.

CHOCOLATE TOFU PIE (it doesn't taste like tofu!)

2 cups chocolate chips,
1/3 cup coffee liqueur
1 block silken tofu
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon honey
1 prepared chocolate wafer crust
Place a small metal bowl over a saucepan with simmering water. Melt the chocolate and coffee liqueur in the bowl. Stir in vanilla.
Combine the tofu, chocolate mixture, and honey in the blender jar. Liquefy until smooth.

Pour the filling into the crust and refrigerate for 2 hours, or until the filling is set.

More recipes will pop up from time to time on this journal. Feel free to ask about any of these concoctions or suggest any new ones to post!

Geeble gabba, one of us, one of us!

2006-01-11T17:15:23Z

Yep. I've made a Live Journal account. It took years, and mean yyyeeeeaaaarrrss of pushing and prodding to get me to do this. So I have. SO THERE!

I've been drawing picts for people for quite some time, and have enjoyed being displayed on their personal websites, lists, and other various interweb compilations. However, a new honor hase been bestowed on me. I've been mentioned on Live Journal's own VCL Horrors page a few times (4 or 5 times I think).
To those folks in the VCL Horrors section I say, well done!
I've had to draw some stuff I wasn't proud of, and some stuff I just didn't get, but happily drew anyway because I knew it would make someone happy. And that's why I draw a lot of what I draw. That's what the cartoon game is all about, making people smile. *cough, and it doesn't hurt to earn some extra cake doing so cough*
So if you have any ideas you would like see drawn, feel free to contact me at grey@paradoxtulpaarts.com!

I guess I'll be posting more in the weeks and months to come.
Until then, later!